Oppressor DARVO Tactics

The murder of Renee Nicole Good is a tragic yet timely reason to review DARVO tactics used by abusers.

DARVO tactics are something that victims of domestic violence (dv) or interpersonal violence (ipv) know all too well. This set of tactics is a form of gaslighting, intended to position the oppressor away from accountability and into the position of the victim:

D eny — Minimization and denial; as in, denying any wrongdoing in Renee Nicole Good’s murder.

A ttack — The oppressor is beginning to position themselves as the victim by attacking the victim’s character and credibility; twisting intentions, and beginning to create a narrative that positions the victim as the oppressor (as in, Renee Good “weaponized” her car).

R everse

V ictim and

O ffender — At this point, the oppressor has fully positioned themselves as the victim. They will say that they’re “wrongly accused” or “feared for their life.” They will justify their actions on the notion that the victim’s “violent behavior” left them no choice. They continue to gaslight and discredit + cast doubt on the victim.

The DARVO tactic is used so that the oppressor can stay in a position of power.

It’s a more covert, “quiet” tactic, designed to manipulate and confuse the victim, creating internal shame, self-doubt, and fear that, “maybe I am the abuser...” (something I’ve heard too often in sessions with victims).

The more shame, confusion, and off balance a victim feels, the easier it is for an oppressor to stay in control.

Oppressors manipulate and exploit people’s ability to self-reflect and take accountability.

If you can reflect and take accountability, that is GOOD, don’t make that wrong. That is a great skill for healthy, reciprocal relationships.

Oppressive relationships cannot be reciprocal, so we need to be aware of the tactics.

We are in a system of macro power and control. The oppressive system is revealing their DARVO tactics over and over again to us.

But being aware of the oppressor tool kit is powerful. We’re less likely to be manipulated by it, and when you start paying attention, the tool kit is *predictable.*

Let’s deflate the power that DARVO and other oppressor tactics have.

I by no means have all the answers, but I do believe that it’s somewhere in staying connected with each other and to our bodies.